Snow
by Awesomerigby
Summary: "When the snow fell, he couldn't help but think of Kana." Hatori takes a walk in the city. I rewatched this episode recently, and this one makes me cry more than the others (though they're all sad!) HatorixKana


Snow

Sometimes the Main House could be suffocating. Hatori understood why Yuki desperately wanted to leave, and he understood why the younger boy was still suffering, even though he hadn't been back in some time. It seemed they couldn't get away from here, or from Akito.

At any rate, Hatori couldn't stay there today. He didn't know why, but he felt anxious. Had been for days. It wasn't until today that he decided he had to get out, get some air, clear his head. After all, he didn't often get to leave the Main House, especially being the Sohma family doctor, and with Akito being so prone to sickness. Hatori was glad to have a day off, even if most of the time, he spent it in his office, going over paperwork. It seemed he really couldn't get away from his work. Or maybe he just couldn't tear himself away. It was easy to forget when he was immersed.

He sighed, pulling his scarf closer around him. It was just before Christmas, and the weather downtown was getting cold. Cold like he was. Even with the warm presence of Tohru Honda-he saw her quite often when he visited Shigure. It was interesting, how much impact she had on the family in the short time she had lived with the Sohma's. From the moment he stepped inside Shigure's house, he could feel it. He could see it in Yuki's and Kyo's eyes. They both loved her. In the same way, he wasn't sure, but there certainly was a love there. And Tohru? It was quite obvious she loved them, too.

And yet, Hatori was still cold. Sure, he had melted a little, but he always had that dark cloud pressing on his heart.

"Maybe this was a bad idea," he muttered. How could he be expected to melt if he was out in this cold? He sniffled. Oh, great. The doctor was getting sick.

"Look, Mommy!" Hatori heard a small child exclaim. He looked over to see a brown haired boy pointing upwards. "It's snowing!"

His mother laughed. "It certainly is. How pretty."

Hatori's eyes widened as he looked upwards, too. Sure enough, light flurries were falling from the sky, caressing his cheeks, his eyes. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes. He tried his best to forget. And, for the most part, he did. He could go about his day without a thought about her, but days like today… When the snow fell, he couldn't help but think of Kana.

 _When the snow melts, what does it become?_

 _The answer is water, of course._

 _WRONG! It becomes spring!_

He opened his eyes. His head was starting to ache. Why now?

Hatori sank onto a bench, pressing his fingers into his temples. The snow didn't realize his discomfort. It didn't stop falling. If anything, it started falling with more fervor, as if determined to coat him with its coldness.

He closed his eyes again.

"Oh, come on, don't be so nervous," Kana teased.

Hatori blushed. "I just… I've never done this before."

"What, am I your first girlfriend?"

"Pretty much," he replied. There was no way he could tell the true reason. How does one even begin to tell his girlfriend that he transformed into a seahorse when hugged by a woman?

"You're so handsome, that's hard to believe. But, I guess since you're super shy, it makes sense." She laughed. "It'll be fine, Hatori."

Hatori took a deep breath. He trusted her. "Okay."

The waitress brought over their one milkshake. Strawberry-and with two straws-at Kana's request. The waitress gave them a wink as she walked away, which only made Hatori blush harder.

"Come on," Kana said. She leaned forward and put her mouth on the straw. Hatori-slowly-did the same.

As they drank the milkshake, they couldn't keep their eyes off each other. The milkshake was sweet and cold, and despite that, Hatori felt his heart warm.

"Wasn't so bad, now was it?" Kana asked when she leaned back into her chair. She wiped the strawberry from her lips.

Hatori chuckled. "No. It was quite… romantic."

"Well, there's more where that came from."

Hatori yawned. He and Kana had been at work late the night before filling out charts, ordering medicines, confirming appointments. Even though they only had to deal with those inside the family, there were so many of them, it was overwhelming. He didn't go home that night, but insisted that Kana did. When she returned the following morning, she quickly realized that he didn't sleep much.

"Hatori!" She frowned. "How do you expect to treat patients if you can't take care of yourself?"

"I'm fine," he said, just as he yawned again.

"Oh, sure, you're so fine, you have bags under your eyes!" She ran a finger under his left eye. Her touch left his skin burning. "Are you still filling out charts?"

Hatori looked over at his desk, the unfilled charts, the unfilled medicine orders. He ran a hand through his hair. He fell asleep for about two hours, and had completely neglected these forms.

"Damn it," he growled. "I should not have let myself slip up like that."

"You fell asleep. That's human."

"Eh."

Kana sighed. "Go home, get some sleep." She seemed to know he was going to protest even before he opened his mouth. "I'll take care of the rest. Okay?" She gave him a smile, the one that made his heart feel rise. He couldn't say "no" to her, such an unselfish, beautiful woman.

"Okay," he replied.

Kana bent down, her hand his back. She moved her palm in circles as she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

When Hatori came back to work a few hours later, he found that Kana was the one asleep at her desk. The forms were all filled. He took off his coat and put it over her, smiling. He couldn't believe the affection he had for her.

They went to dinner. A semiformal sushi restaurant Hatori had passed a few times, but never gone into. It wasn't that he couldn't afford it, or that he didn't like fancy things. It was just every time he passed by, he saw couples. He never once saw friends having a plate, or a family enjoying a night out. No, every time, there were couples being rather affectionate. He saw one man take his date's hand and kissed her fingers. And though he wasn't inside to witness it, there was a proposal. He knew this because, as he was walking by, the couple emerged, a little bit tipsy. The woman showed Hatori the ring and proceeded to kiss and hug her fiancé, who grew flustered. When he saw that couple, he felt sad, jealous, angry. If it had been him, there would be a seahorse on the ground and lots of memories to suppress.

The whole place just made him feel uneasy, but that was before he met Kana. He wanted to take her out, to show her his affection. Even if he wouldn't be hugging and kissing her, this was the next best thing.

Kana looked beautiful that night. She didn't overdo it, and opted for a skirt and cardigan with black flats. Hatori shrugged out of his jacket and took off his tie, to make his attire a bit more casual.

"This is so lovely, Hatori," Kana gushed. "Thank you so much."

"It's no problem. We don't get to go out that much, besides that milkshake date and walks in the park." It wasn't only work that kept them from going out; it was Akito. Any one could report back to her, and Hatori knew she would hate this, but… "I wanted to treat you." He took her hand and kissed her fingers. When her eyes widened, he blushed and took his hand back. "I'm sorry, that was… I saw someone do it, and I thought…"

"No, I like it." She held out her hand, and Hatori took it.

They had a little bit too much to drink, and when they returned to Kana's house, Hatori couldn't keep his love locked away any longer.

"Kana," he sighed. He put his hand on her cheek; he could feel the heat radiating off her body. He was sure she could feel the heat of him as well.

"Hatori…"

God, Hatori, thought. She looked so beautiful, staring into his eyes. He wanted her. He wanted every last bit of her, Akito be damned. He would give up everything for her, even this secret. He loved her. He loved her. He loved her so much he couldn't take it.

His lips fell upon hers, and though it was only for a moment-for Kana put her arms around him, and his around her- it was the most glorious feeling of his life. Then, it was interrupted, as he transformed.

The little seahorse wiggled on his mound of clothes, and Kana stared. What was going through her mind? Shock, surely. Disgust? He hoped not. Then, she started screaming.

"Water, no. Seawater! Oh, what do I do?!" She scooped Hatori into her arms and rushed into the bathroom. She started the bathtub, and once it was hot enough, she tossed him in. Maybe it was the water, maybe it was the heat, but the transformation didn't last as long as it usually did.

After he dressed, Kana took him into the living room and started drying his hair. He couldn't look her in the eyes.

"I understand now. I wondered why you never wanted to hold me. I understand why you keep your distance… You're afraid."

Yes, he was afraid, and he had never been afraid of this before. Not until her.

"You don't have to worry…" She leaned her head against his, being careful not to embrace him. "I'm glad to have met you. And I'm even happier to have fallen in love with you… I want to be with you…"

Hatori felt a rush of emotion, and the tears fell. What did he do to deserve her? He erased memories without thought, without concern of the person it hurt, and yet… she accepted and loved him…?

"I… I love you, too," he said.

"I don't mind if you can't hold me, but…" She lifted her head, and he lifted his to meet her eyes. "We can still kiss, right?"

Hatori chuckled. "As long as you don't hug me." Their heads moved at the same time, and their lips met once again. This time, without the embrace, the kiss lasted longer, and he was able to taste the lipgloss she wore that night. He cried against her lips, and Kana caressed his cheek.

"I got you!" Kana shouted.

"Damn it!"

She laughed as she threw snow into his face.

"Okay, now I'm really going to get you for that," Hatori said. He picked up a bundle of snow and rushed towards her. Kana was too fast. She dodged him, and he slipped. He fell face first into the snow.

"I know I said spring is my favorite season, but this is too funny."

"Laugh it up, Kana."

She stuck her tongue at him, but she didn't laugh for long. Hatori grabbed her ankle and brought her down. Luckily, she didn't land on top of him, but she did get a good amount of snow in her face and hair.

Kana broke into laughter and inched closer to Hatori. She looked down at his face, then leaned in for a kiss. Even with the cold snow on their lips, the kiss was warm until Kana put a glob of snow down Hatori's shirt.

The snow was melting. He felt happier than he had in ages, in his whole life, he suspected. With her, he felt young, cheery. Something he never expected to be. Every moment with Kana was a breath of fresh air. He felt more and more alive every day. He didn't care that he kept this from Akito. Akito couldn't rule his life forever.

"Kana," Hatori said one day.

"Hmm?" She put down the ice cream cone they had been sharing.

"There's something I want to talk to you about."

"Yeah?"

The ring was in his pocket. He knew he couldn't do it like this. He had to talk to Akito first, but he wanted that normal proposal like he saw that time. He wanted to get down on one knee, hold Kana's hand, and slip the ring onto her finger.

Hatori wiped the vanilla on her cheek with his finger, laughing as she blushed. Then, he knelt in front of the bench. Maybe it wasn't the ideal place for this, but he couldn't go one more moment.

"Will you…" He pulled the box out and opened it. He had spent hours looking at rings. It seemed none were good enough except for this. This simple, beautiful diamond that shined in the sun. It was just like Kana. "Marry me?"

Kana stared at the ring. The ice cream melted off the cone and splattered onto the bench. Neither of them cared.

"Yes, Hatori…" She kissed him deeply. Who knew? Maybe… just maybe Kana could break the curse.

"I love you." He slipped the ring onto her finger. It was even more beautiful on her. "I do have to tell you, though…"

"Yeah?" She asked, turning her hand this way and that.

"We do have to talk to Akito, the head. I wanted to ask you first."

"I understand. He's the head of the family, after all, right?"

"Right."

Hatori didn't know what he expected. Maybe Akito would see how deep their love was and allow the union. He and Kana kneeled in front of Akito respectfully. They had run into Shigure that day, and he was happy for them, though like Hatori, he was nervous about what Akito would say.

"Akito... Kana and I wish to be married."

Akito got up, pulling her kimono to cover her chest and shoulders. She looked Hatori in the eye, and then grabbed a vase. Before he knew it, Akito was hurtling it towards him. It collided with his face, the shards cutting into his left eye.

Hatori cried out in pain. He clenched at his eye, his hand becoming warm with the blood.

"Hatori…" Akito said, almost gently as though she hadn't just done that. She knelt by him. Then, she said, "This is your fault! If Hatori goes blind, it's your fault!"

Shigure entered. "Akito, Hatori!" He restrained Akito, as she tried to get towards Kana. "Kana, take Hatori and get out of here!"

Hatori reached for Kana, his vision becoming blurry. He could see her wide eyes, the trembling of her hands. He wanted to hold her, to comfort her. He could still hear Akito yelling, and with every word, Kana's trembling worsened.

Hatori couldn't do a damn thing. Kana broke down in tears when he came near her She held her hands in her face, saying, "It's my fault," over and over again.

"No, Kana…"

"It's my fault."

"Kana!"

"MY FAULT!"

Hatori didn't know what to do. It killed him to see her like this. It was his fault. He got his hopes up. He foolishly thought he could have a normal life, like he wasn't cursed by this beast and wasn't under Akito's control.

"She wants to forget," Akito said coolly as she studied the bird on her finger.

 _Does she?_ Hatori asked himself.

"You can help her."

 _Can I?_

"It's her love for you that causes her pain." Akito grabbed Hatori's tie, her voice lowering. "She wants to forget, Hatori. Release her. It can be your final act of love…"

As Akito spoke, Hatori saw Kana. Their meeting, their first date, when she found out, when she accepted his proposal, when she broke down. Would they ever have those gentle moments again? Or would his face always send her into a fit of tears? Was there any hope for them?

Kana was brought to the Main House. She looked so sick, so depressed, not the Kana he knew. He took her hand as she trembled, as though being in his presence was too overwhelming. Did that moment replay in her head right now? Did she have nightmares about it? Did she wake up in tears? Judging from her reaction, he was sure she did, and he only had one choice.

"Kana, you don't have to worry. You don't have to suffer over me anymore."

He put his hand across her eyes. She didn't shy away from his touch. She reached a hand out, and he took it without a second thought.

"Hatori... I'm so sorry," she cried.

Sorry… What could she possibly be sorry for? She made him so happy. She was everything.

"I couldn't protect you."

Hatori felt sick. He closed his eyes and pressed his hand, and Kana fell to the ground. In a few hours, she would wake and forget. About their relationship, about the curse, about everything. He stood above her; the tears slid down his cheeks.

 _No… I was the one couldn't protect you._

"What are you doing, mister?"

Hatori's eyes snapped open. He was on the bench, the snow covering his face. He looked to see the little boy from earlier.

"Nothing."

"You must really like the snow!"

Hatori brushed the snow off his face, clothes, and hair. He felt cold. "Not particularly. It reminds me too much of someone."

The little boy titled his head in confusion.

"It's nothing that should concern you." Hatori got up from the bench, gave the boy a smile, and continued on his way. As he walked, he was surprised to find that he was crying. It had been almost three years, but he carried that guilt everywhere he went. Then, he smiled. He was glad to have met her, and he was glad to have fallen in love with her. Even if she couldn't remember their time together, he hoped he made some impact on her life.


End file.
